When did I start thinking that my struggles with God and Christianity would benefit anyone? When did my thought process start coming out like mini sermons? I don’t remember making a conscious effort to do that! So I must apologize. With sincere heart and a little embarrassment, can I just say that this whole venture was just meant to share a thought? Maybe someone in the same boat could use an oar also?
I am a teacher, by nature. Seriously, when I was a child I spent hours teaching my dolls and younger sisters (really anyone I could con into listening!) anything I had learned; and my thirst for learning was voracious so that was often. I look back now and wonder if that’s one of the reasons my sisters hated school. But because I collect even random knowledge like the dusty knick-knacks they become I am prone to over-sharing. You’re welcome.
This last weekend I became victim to a change in procedure, illness, and low self-esteem. What a wonderful combination that can be for someone actively praying for a direction in life! I spent a zombie-like day in contemplation and prayer and low and behold, “There came a knocking on my heart.” Only it knocked me down a few pegs.
Who am I, I know, to “mini sermon” any of you? I am no one. I am someone who went searching for answers and whether I really found them or thought I did, I am suddenly humbled by the thought that I am sometimes speaking my own words of revelation with no thought as to whether or not I should. I hope I have not offended anyone. I know, better than most, that spiritual matters are extremely personal. If you have tuned in for my ruminations I hope you know they were from a position of, “Ah…look what I found.” Never from a position of, “Ahem, look what you should know.”
I will endeavor, from this point forward, to word things differently or maybe cease blogging altogether. Again, you’re welcome.