Thoughts

Thoughts & Mini-Sermons

When did I start thinking that my struggles with God and Christianity would benefit anyone? When did my thought process start coming out like mini sermons? I don’t remember making a conscious effort to do that! So I must apologize. With sincere heart and a little embarrassment, can I just say that this whole venture was just meant to share a thought? Maybe someone in the same boat could use an oar also?

I am a teacher, by nature. Seriously, when I was a child I spent hours teaching my dolls and younger sisters (really anyone I could con into listening!) anything I had learned; and my thirst for learning was voracious so that was often. I look back now and wonder if that’s one of the reasons my sisters hated school. But because I collect even random knowledge like the dusty knick-knacks they become I am prone to over-sharing. You’re welcome.

This last weekend I became victim to a change in procedure, illness, and low self-esteem. What a wonderful combination that can be for someone actively praying for a direction in life! I spent a zombie-like day in contemplation and prayer and low and behold, “There came a knocking on my heart.” Only it knocked me down a few pegs.

Who am I, I know, to “mini sermon” any of you? I am no one. I am someone who went searching for answers and whether I really found them or thought I did, I am suddenly humbled by the thought that I am sometimes speaking my own words of revelation with no thought as to whether or not I should. I hope I have not offended anyone. I know, better than most, that spiritual matters are extremely personal. If you have tuned in for my ruminations I hope you know they were from a position of, “Ah…look what I found.” Never from a position of, “Ahem, look what you should know.”

I will endeavor, from this point forward, to word things differently or maybe cease blogging altogether. Again, you’re welcome.

Poetry · Thoughts

The Era of My Life

Ticktock goes my life,

and  I worry in syncopation,

“This?”

“That?”

“Now?”

“When?”

“Here?”

“There?”

“Yes?”

“No?”

The moments turn into hours

and the clock continues on in blissful infinity.

But I question my allotment,

as if I have any control over a period, let alone an eternity.

I rush and rant;

looking forward and then looking back while I miss this moment completely.

And the clock on the wall silently nods.


 

RDS (c) April 20, 2020

Bible Study · Thoughts

Casting All Your Cares

I have often dropped to my knees to ask, “Why?” I have poured out my heart pleading with God to change the outcome, fix the problem, correct the other person, make the pain go away. I am a child begging my daddy to fix the boo-boo!

But sometimes I am quite comfortable with my spiritual infancy and I know my Father in Heaven does not think that’s a bad thing. We are told often in scriptures of His concern for us.  He tells us to, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you,” and that, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”

However, over time I have learned that it helps if I approach every heartache prayer with a different agenda.  If I ask, not that God change the outcome that He already, in perfect wisdom, thoroughly understands but that He intervene in my own limited perception and inability to process, my relationship with God changes dramatically. I stop treating every situation as another example of God’s lack of concern for me personally and, instead, I see Him for the Father and loving partner that He is!

Acknowledging my Father’s ability to see a future I can never dream of, the heart of someone I will never know, the direction of both my bad choices and my good, or the perfectness of something I can’t fathom as acceptable is the first step in my infancy and in my spiritual adulthood. Only by acknowledging his divinity will I be able to stop crying out, “God, why don’t you care about what’s happening?”

Instead I can say, “Father, help me to see your hand in this and deal appropriately with it.  Help me to know what to pray for!”

 

Scriptures used:

1 Peter 5:7 , Psalm 103:13

Photo by Timur Romanov on Unsplash